"shared joy is double joy.
shared sorrow is half sorrow."
-swedish proverb

after a while
after a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
and you learn that you really can endure...
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
~veronica shoffstall

true friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island...to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.
~baltasar gracian

confused
my knees start to shake,
when you're in sight.
my mind is filled with wonder,
my heart with fright.

when will this feeling stop?
when did it start?
how can i listen to my mind,
without breaking my heart?

i'm so confused.
what should i do?
i can't think of anything,
except of you.

should i ignore you.
or just give it time?
i can't think straight,
my heart controls my mind.
~anonymous

"on the 5th day of christmas my true love gave to me
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS...."

"on the 4th day of christmas my true love gave to me
four calling birds..."

it's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back.- mick jagger

you never lose by loving. you always lose by holding back.- barbra de angelis

please listen
When i ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what i asked.
When i ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell my why
i shoudn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When i ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do soemthing
to solve my problem,
you have failed me,
strange as it may seem.
Listen! All i ask is that you listen.
Don't talk or do--just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get
you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper.
And i can do for myself; i am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.
When you do something for me that i can
and i need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and
inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
that i feel what i feel,
no matter how irrational,
then i can stop trying to convince
you and get about this business
of understanding what's behind
this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are
obvious and i don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when
we understand what's behind them.
Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes,
for some people--becuase God is mute,
and he doesn't give advice or try
to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work
it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn--and i will listen to you.
~author unknown

katie eckstrom wrote me a poem about love (kind of...more about my stupid life, but still...) so as soon as she sends it to me, it's goin on here too!!! ISN'T THAT EXCITING?!

the following is a collection of female quotes...the guys may not appreciate it, but...well...oh well! IT'S MY SITE!!!!

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
Cora Harvey Armstrong
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy........
Helen Hayes (at 73)
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Janette Barber
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Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

Jan King
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Carrie Snow
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
Laurie Kuslansky
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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
Rhonda Hansome
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton
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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
Caryn Leschen
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I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Jennifer Unlimited
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
Unknown
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb.. and I'm also not blonde.
Dolly Parton
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You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Erica Jong
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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
Sue Grafton
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I think---therefore I'm single.
Lizz Winstead
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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Elayne Boosler
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Margaret Thatcher
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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Gloria Steinem
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I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.

Marie Corelli
------------------------------------------------------------------
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

Linda Ellerbee
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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"on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me
three french hens..."

"on the second day of christmas my true love gave to me
two turtledoves..."

"on the first day of christmas my true love gave to me
a partridge in a pear tree."

song

why do bells of christmas ring?
why do little children sing?

once a lovely shining star,
seen by shepherds from afar,
gently moved until its light
made a manger's cradle bright.
there a darling baby lay
pillowed soft upon the hay;
and its mother sung and smiled;
"this is Christ, the holy Child!"

therefore bells for christmas ring,
therefore little children sing.

~EUGENE FIELD

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

i got a poem tonight (well...it's morning i guess, but to me it's still saturday night) from a book that my mom got LONG ago (1962) but it's got a cute little poem...anyway...here you go!

if all the little christmas trees
that live within the wood,
should say "we'd rather not be cut."
you know they really could.

if all the little waiting socks
upon a christmas eve,
when everyone had gone to bed,
should turn their toes and leave---

if all the sugar lollypops
should say they wouldn't pop;
if all the lively humping jacks
should quite refuse to hop---

if all the little walking dolls
should plan to run away;
and all the go-carts really go,
oh, what a christmas day!

but clap your hands and dance and sing,
it never happened yet,
the little socks just stretch themselves
to hold the toys they get.

the lolly-pops, the gay jack hops,
the go-carts always stay,
the walking doll will only walk
when dear has shown the way.

so wreath the holly, twine the green,
and deck the merry room.
and cheer the little christmas tree
that always wants to bloom.

grateful

like a needle in a haystack
true friends are hard to find.
that's why i am so thankful
that i can call you mine.

whenever i need a shoulder
you're there to catch my tears.
you've kept my many secrets
thoughout the passing years.

you've been there through my triumphs,
you've witnessed my defeats,
i'll remember the good times
and pray the bad ones don't repeat.

with you my heart is honest,
but there's only one thing i never told you...
thank you for everything you've done---
there's no one else like you!

a friendly smile

everything's gone wrong today.
no one reacts to anything you say,
no matter how much you scream and cry,
the world seems to be passing you by,
no one seems to notice or care,
that you're trying to be heard over your despair.

but on one face a smile shines through,
a smile that knows and cares about you.
a smile with love to lend
on a face you recognize as a friend.

if i could
if i could hold you in my arms
and never let you go,
i would tell you how much i love you
and all the things you should know.
if i could whisper in your ear
all the words locked deep inside,
i would say the things you wanted to hear
there is nothing i would hide.
if i could look into your eyes
and find a special place,
i would never look away
i would hide in your embrace.
if i could hear the words i long for
when you call me more than just a friend,
i would cherish every single moment
and never let it end.

missing you
a candle burns at both ends
fire racing flames
my mind is cluttered full of lies
and your answers sound the same
i don't know whatot think
too much is on my mind
nothing seems the way it should
and i'm running out of time
the wick is disappearing
someone please tell me what to do
my mind tells me it's over
but i'm still missing you...

as i look out at the majestic sea
i know that you and i are meant to be.
i only wish i could make you see
how much your love means to me.
i wish i could walk up to you
and speak the words that lovers do.
but now i sit here sad and blue
wishing that i could be with you.

all i can't say

there's so much i can't say
when i look into your eyes.
i'm worried you'll reject me
and hurt my foolish pride.

each day this love grows stronger
but i could never let you know.
there's so much behind my smile
that i could never show.

i'd hold you for a lifetime
if you would let me in.
i'd love you like no other
but you don't understand.

everytime i see you
you are holding her.
the pain is like a knife
cutting deep into my soul.

so i'll dream of us together
of just how it could be.
and all that you are
will remaing a silent part of me.

"sometimes no matter how much i care, some people just don't care back."

nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

where do you turn when the only person in the world who can stop you from crying is the exact person who is making you cry?

don't fall in love with a person you can live with, but rather fall in some with the person you can't live without.

if i could plant a flower each time i thought of you, i could walk in my garden forever. if i could reach up and hold a star for everytime you made me smile, i'd have the entire night sky in the plam of my hand.

next time i fall in love it will be with someone true, but how can i fall in love when i'm still in love with you?

hearts never lie, why do we?

what is great love? it's when you shed tears and still you care for him; it's when he ignores you and still you long for him; it's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say "i'm happy for you".

there comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we let go.

it take three seconds to say "i love you," three minutes to explain it, three hours to demonstrate it, three days to appreciate it, but a LIFETIME to prove it.

it's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does.

no matter the tears...
no matter how long i've cried...
i can't win you back...
you won't let me try...
no matter my hurt...
no matter yours...
you don't want me back...
so now it's good-bye.

should i smile because we're friends or cry because that's all we'll ever be?

missing you isn't the hardest part, knowing i once had you is what breaks my heart.

here's a few quotes for today...

"I pretend to be happy because he's happy, but how can I be happy knowing that I'm not the one making him smile?"

"Why do we always love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones that love us?"

"I dropped a tear in the ocean. When they find it, I will stop loving you."

"Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure...if I knew you were missing me too..."

"If the only way for me to be with you is in my dreams, then let me dream forever."

"A soulmate is someone who brings out the best in you. They are not always perfect, but they are always perfect to you."

"If you love something set it free, if it returns, keep it and love it forever; if it doesn't, it was never meant to be."

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."

"You never lose by loving, but you always lose by holding back!" (AINT THAT THE TRUTH...)

"If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it, just don't break it, or my world will fall apart."

"Love is not about finding the perfect person. It's about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."